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e41b0fdd WJ |
1 | Warning: |
2 | The fortunes contained in the fortune database have been collected | |
3 | haphazardly from a cacophony of sources, in number so huge it | |
4 | boggles the mind. It is impossible to do any meaningful quality | |
5 | control on attributions, or lack thereof, or exactness of the quote. | |
6 | Since this database is not used for profit, and since entire works | |
7 | are not published, it falls under fair use, as we understand it. | |
8 | However, if any half-assed idiot decides to make a profit off of | |
9 | this, they will need to double check it all, and nobody not involved | |
10 | of such an effort makes any warranty that anything in the database | |
11 | bears any relation to the real world of literature, law, or other | |
12 | bizzarrity. | |
13 | ||
14 | ==> GENERAL INFORMATION | |
15 | By default, fortune retrieves its fortune files from the directory | |
16 | /usr/share/games/fortune. A fortune file has two parts: the source file | |
17 | (which contains the fortunes themselves) and the data file which describes | |
18 | the fortunes. The data fil always has the same name as the fortune file | |
19 | with the string ".dat" concatenated, i.e. "fort" is the standard fortune | |
20 | database, and "fort.dat" is the data file which describes it. See | |
21 | strfile(8) for more information on creating the data files. | |
22 | Fortunes are split into potentially offensive and not potentially | |
23 | offensive parts. The offensive version of a file has the same name as the | |
24 | non-offensive version with "-o" concatenated, i.e. "fort" is the standard | |
25 | fortune database, and "fort-o" is the standard offensive database. The | |
26 | fortune program automatically assumes that any file with a name ending in | |
27 | "-o" is potentially offensive, and should therefore only be displayed if | |
28 | explicitly requested, either with the -o option or by specifying a file name | |
29 | on the command line. | |
30 | Potentially offensive fortune files should NEVER be maintained in | |
31 | clear text on the system. They are rotated (see caesar(6)) 13 positions. | |
32 | To create a new, potentially offensive database, use caesar to rotate it, | |
33 | and then create its data file with the -x option to strfile(8). The fortune | |
34 | program automatically decrypts the text when it prints entries from such | |
35 | databases. | |
36 | Anything which would not make it onto network prime time programming | |
37 | (or which would only be broadcast if some discredited kind of guy said it) | |
38 | MUST be in the potentially offensive database. Fortunes containing any | |
39 | explicit language (see George Carlin's recent updated list) MUST be in the | |
40 | potentially offensive database. Political and religious opinions are often | |
41 | sequestered in the potentially offensive section as well. Anything which | |
42 | assumes as a world view blatantly racist, mysogynist (sexist), or homophobic | |
43 | ideas should not be in either, since they are not really funny unless *you* | |
44 | are racist, mysogynist, or homophobic. | |
45 | The point of this is that people have should have a reasonable | |
46 | expectation that, should they just run "fortune", they will not be offended. | |
47 | We know that some people take offense at anything, but normal people do have | |
48 | opinions, too, and have a right not to have their sensibilities offended by | |
49 | a program which is supposed to be entertaining. People who run "fortune | |
50 | -o" or "fortune -a" are saying, in effect, that they are willing to have | |
51 | their sensibilities tweaked. However, they should not have their personal | |
52 | worth seriously (i.e., not in jest) assaulted. Jokes which depend for their | |
53 | humor on racist, mysogynist, or homophobic stereotypes *do* seriously | |
54 | assault individual personal worth, and in an general entertainment medium | |
55 | we should be able to get by without it. | |
56 | ||
57 | ==> FORMATTING | |
58 | This file describes the format for fortunes in the database. This | |
59 | is done in detail to make it easier to keep track of things. Any rule given | |
60 | here may be broken to make a better joke. | |
61 | ||
62 | [All examples are indented by one tab stop -- KCRCA] | |
63 | ||
64 | Numbers should be given in parentheses, e.g., | |
65 | ||
66 | (1) Everything depends. | |
67 | (2) Nothing is always. | |
68 | (3) Everything is sometimes. | |
69 | ||
70 | Attributions are two tab stops, followed by two hyphens, followed by a | |
71 | space, followed by the attribution, and are *not* preceded by blank | |
72 | lines. Book, journal, movie, and all other titles are in quotes, e.g., | |
73 | ||
74 | $100 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become $100,000, at | |
75 | which time it will be worth absolutely nothing. | |
76 | -- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love" | |
77 | ||
78 | Attributions which do not fit on one (72 char) line should be continued | |
79 | on a line which lines up below the first text of the attribution, e.g., | |
80 | ||
81 | -- A very long attribution which might not fit on one | |
82 | line, "Ken Arnold's Stupid Sayings" | |
83 | ||
84 | Single paragraph fortunes are in left justified (non-indented) paragraphs | |
85 | unless they fall into another category listed below (see example above). | |
86 | Longer fortunes should also be in left justified paragraphs, but if this | |
87 | makes it too long, try indented paragraphs, with indentations of either one | |
88 | tab stop or 5 chars. Indentations of less than 5 are too hard to read. | |
89 | ||
90 | Laws have the title left justified and capitalized, followed by a colon, | |
91 | with all the text of the law itself indented one tab stop, initially | |
92 | capitalized, e.g., | |
93 | ||
94 | A Law of Computer Programming: | |
95 | Make it possible for programmers to write in English and | |
96 | you will find the programmers cannot write in English. | |
97 | ||
98 | Limericks are indented as follows, all lines capitalized: | |
99 | ||
100 | A computer, to print out a fact, | |
101 | Will divide, multiply, and subtract. | |
102 | But this output can be | |
103 | No more than debris, | |
104 | If the input was short of exact. | |
105 | ||
106 | Accents precede the letter they are over, e.g., "`^He" for e with a grave | |
107 | accent. Underlining is done on a word-by-word basis, with the underlines | |
108 | preceding the word, e.g., "__^H^Hhi ____^H^H^H^Hthere". | |
109 | ||
110 | No fortune should run beyond 72 characters on a single line without good | |
111 | justification (er, no pun intended). And no right margin justification, | |
112 | either. Sorry. For BSD people, there is a program called "fmt" which can | |
113 | make this kind of formatting easier. | |
114 | ||
115 | Definitions are given with the word or phrase left justified, followed by | |
116 | the part of speech (if appropriate) and a colon. The definition starts | |
117 | indented by one tab stop, with subsequent lines left justified, e.g., | |
118 | ||
119 | Afternoon, n.: | |
120 | That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted | |
121 | the morning. | |
122 | ||
123 | Quotes are sometimes put around statements which are funnier or make more | |
124 | sense if they are understood as being spoken, rather than written, | |
125 | communication, e.g., | |
126 | ||
127 | "All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that | |
128 | keeps us sane." | |
129 | ||
130 | Ellipses are always surrounded by spaces, except when next to punctuation, | |
131 | and are three dots long. | |
132 | ||
133 | "... all the modern inconveniences ..." | |
134 | -- Mark Twain | |
135 | ||
136 | Human initials always have spaces after the periods, e.g, "P. T. Barnum", | |
137 | not "P.T. Barnum". However, "P.T.A.", not "P. T. A.". | |
138 | ||
139 | All fortunes should be attributed, but if and only if they are original with | |
140 | somebody. Many people have said things that are folk sayings (i.e., are | |
141 | common among the folk (i.e., us common slobs)). There is nothing wrong with | |
142 | this, of course, but such statements should not be attributed to individuals | |
143 | who did not invent them. | |
144 | ||
145 | Horoscopes should have the sign indented by one tab stop, followed by the | |
146 | dates of the sign, with the text left justified below it, e.g., | |
147 | ||
148 | AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) | |
149 | You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You | |
150 | lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be | |
151 | careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over | |
152 | and over again. People think you are stupid. | |
153 | ||
154 | Single quotes should not be used except as quotes within quotes. Not even | |
155 | single quotes masquerading as double quotes are to be used, e.g., don't say | |
156 | ``hi there'' or `hi there' or 'hi there', but "hi there". However, you | |
157 | *can* say "I said, `hi there'". | |
158 | ||
159 | A long poem or song can be ordered as follows in order to make it fit on a | |
160 | screen (fortunes should be 19 lines or less if at all possible) (numbers | |
161 | here are stanza numbers): | |
162 | ||
163 | 11111111111111111111 | |
164 | 11111111111111111111 | |
165 | 11111111111111111111 22222222222222222222 | |
166 | 11111111111111111111 22222222222222222222 | |
167 | 22222222222222222222 | |
168 | 33333333333333333333 22222222222222222222 | |
169 | 33333333333333333333 | |
170 | 33333333333333333333 44444444444444444444 | |
171 | 33333333333333333333 44444444444444444444 | |
172 | 44444444444444444444 | |
173 | 44444444444444444444 | |
174 | ||
175 |