| 1 | Some men are discovered; others are found out. |
| 2 | Straw? No, too stupid a fad. I put soot on warts. |
| 3 | Words must be weighed, not counted. |
| 4 | By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. |
| 5 | He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT. |
| 6 | You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity. |
| 7 | Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. |
| 8 | Words are the voice of the heart. |
| 9 | Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true. |
| 10 | A king's castle is his home. |
| 11 | He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last. |
| 12 | The universe is laughing behind your back. |
| 13 | The best prophet of the future is the past. |
| 14 | It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize. |
| 15 | Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion. |
| 16 | Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years. |
| 17 | Money may buy friendship but money can not buy love. |
| 18 | Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca. |
| 19 | Creditors have much better memories than debtors. |
| 20 | Many pages make a thick book. |
| 21 | Every purchase has its price. |
| 22 | Do not underestimate the power of the Force. |
| 23 | You will step on the night soil of many countries. |
| 24 | Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference. |
| 25 | He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on cruise. |
| 26 | Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal. |
| 27 | If you suspect a man, don't employ him. |
| 28 | The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad. |
| 29 | Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable. |
| 30 | A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds. |
| 31 | A good memory does not equal pale ink. |
| 32 | A pretty woman can do anything; an ugly woman must do everything. |
| 33 | How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent. |
| 34 | You dialed 2290 |
| 35 | It's later than you think. |
| 36 | Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure. |
| 37 | It's not reality that's important, but how you percieve things. |
| 38 | Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword. |
| 39 | Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone. |
| 40 | Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth. |
| 41 | Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. |
| 42 | The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive. |
| 43 | Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down. |
| 44 | Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face. |
| 45 | Man's horizons are bounded by his vision. |
| 46 | To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the competent. |
| 47 | He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet. |
| 48 | Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples. |
| 49 | Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level. |
| 50 | You cannot kill time without injuring eternity. |
| 51 | Ettiquetee is for those with no breeding; fashion for those with no taste. |
| 52 | As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote. |
| 53 | One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true. |
| 54 | Crazee Edeee, his prices are INSANE!!! |
| 55 | It is better to wear out than to rust out. |
| 56 | When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it. |
| 57 | The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf. |
| 58 | It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree. |
| 59 | How you look depends on where you go. |
| 60 | A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs. |
| 61 | A man who turns green has eschewed protein. |
| 62 | Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust. |
| 63 | Even a hawk is an eagle among crows. |
| 64 | When among apes, one must play the ape. |
| 65 | Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark. |
| 66 | People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle. |
| 67 | A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn. |
| 68 | Do not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses. |
| 69 | Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday. |
| 70 | Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy. |
| 71 | You have mail. |
| 72 | His heart was yours from the first moment that you met. |
| 73 | Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all. |
| 74 | Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. |
| 75 | With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best. |
| 76 | He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap. |
| 77 | Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie. |
| 78 | Today is the last day of your life so far. |
| 79 | Flee at once, all is discovered. |
| 80 | Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self. |
| 81 | Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. |
| 82 | For a good time, call 8367-3100. |
| 83 | Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate. |
| 84 | God does not play dice. |
| 85 | This fortune is inoperative. Please try another. |
| 86 | Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either. |
| 87 | No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail. |
| 88 | You will feel hungry again in another hour. |
| 89 | You now have Asian Flu. |
| 90 | God made the integers; all else is the work of Man. |
| 91 | Disk crisis, please clean up! |
| 92 | You auto buy now. |
| 93 | Many are called, few are chosen. Fewer still get to do the choosing. |
| 94 | Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today. |
| 95 | Many are cold, but few are frozen. |
| 96 | The early worm gets the bird. |
| 97 | He who hesitates is sometimes saved. |
| 98 | Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once. |
| 99 | The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.) |
| 100 | Can't open /usr/games/lib/fortunes. |
| 101 | If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands. |
| 102 | It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost. |
| 103 | A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance from Charlie. |
| 104 | Disk crunch - please clean up. |
| 105 | Center meeting at 4pm in 2C-543 |
| 106 | I will never lie to you. |
| 107 | Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain. |
| 108 | Your computer account is overdrawn. Please reauthorize. |
| 109 | 1 bulls, 3 cows |
| 110 | It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa. |
| 111 | Waste not, get your budget cut next year. |
| 112 | Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement. |
| 113 | Snow Day - stay home. |
| 114 | Save gas, don't eat beans. |
| 115 | All that glitters has a high refractive index. |
| 116 | Ignore previous fortune. |
| 117 | When in doubt, lead trump. |
| 118 | 23. ... r-q1 |
| 119 | unix soit qui mal y pense |
| 120 | Even a cabbage may look at a king. |
| 121 | Honi soit la vache qui rit. |
| 122 | No directory |
| 123 | Don't eat yellow snow. |
| 124 | One Bell System - it works. |
| 125 | One Bell System - it sometimes works. |
| 126 | * UNIX is a Trademark of Bell Laboratories. |
| 127 | chess tonight |
| 128 | External Security: |
| 129 | Tom's hungry, time to eat lunch. |
| 130 | Phone call for chucky-pooh. |
| 131 | MOUNT TAPE U1439 ON B3, NO RING |
| 132 | A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. |
| 133 | IOT trap -- core dumped |
| 134 | IOT trap -- mos dumped |
| 135 | /usr/news/gotcha |
| 136 | Rotten wood can not be carved - Confucius (Analects, Book 5, Ch. 9) |
| 137 | System going down at 1:45 this afternoon for disk crashing. |
| 138 | : is not an identifier |
| 139 | Quantity is no substitute for quality, but its the only one we've got. |
| 140 | Those who can do, those who can't, write. |
| 141 | The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again. |
| 142 | You've been Berkeley'ed. |
| 143 | Excessive login messages is a sure sign of senility. |
| 144 | Say logout to logout. |
| 145 | fortune: not found |
| 146 | System going down at 5 this afternoon to install scheduler bug. |
| 147 | Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes, work never begun. |
| 148 | There is no heavier burden than a great potential. |
| 149 | Change your thoughts and you change your world. |
| 150 | It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. |
| 151 | A man paints with his brains and not with his hands. |
| 152 | Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
| 153 | There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. |
| 154 | He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes. |
| 155 | Failure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital. |
| 156 | Success is a journey, not a destination. |
| 157 | Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science. |
| 158 | Two men look out through the same bars; one sees mud, and one the stars. |
| 159 | The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. |
| 160 | Youth is the trustee of posterity. |
| 161 | Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. |
| 162 | The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none. |
| 163 | He that would govern others, first should be the master of himself. |
| 164 | Above all things, reverence yourself. |
| 165 | Learned men are the cisterns of knowledge, not the fountainheads. |
| 166 | The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. |
| 167 | It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. |
| 168 | Courage is grace under pressure. |
| 169 | Culture is the habit of being pleased with the best and knowing why. |
| 170 | Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. |
| 171 | He who hates vices hates mankind. |
| 172 | To teach is to learn. |
| 173 | Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. |
| 174 | Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. |
| 175 | There is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it. |
| 176 | God must love the common man; He made so many of them. |
| 177 | Integrity has no need for rules. |
| 178 | The price of greatness is responsibility. |
| 179 | The important thing is not to stop questioning. |
| 180 | A clash of doctrine is not a disaster - it is an opportunity. |
| 181 | The end of labor is to gain leisure. |
| 182 | Your education begins where what is called your education is over. |
| 183 | Can anyone remember when the times were not hard, and money not scarce? |
| 184 | All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time. |
| 185 | The finest eloquence is that which gets things done. |
| 186 | The life which is unexamined is not worth living. |
| 187 | Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others. |