+;;; "Flame" program. This has a chequered past.
+;;;
+;;; The original was on a Motorola 286 running Vanilla V.1,
+;;; about 2 years ago. It was couched in terms of a yacc (I think)
+;;; script. I pulled the data out of it and rewrote it as a piece
+;;; of PL/1 on Multics. Now I've moved it into an emacs-lisp
+;;; form. If the original author cares to contact me, I'd
+;;; be very happy to credit you!
+;;;
+;;; Ian G. Batten, Batten@uk.ac.bham.multics
+;;;
+
+(random t)
+
+(defvar sentence
+ '((how can you say that (statement) \?)
+ (I can\'t believe how (adjective) you are\.)
+ (only a (der-term) like you would say that (statement) \.)
+ ((statement) \, huh\?) (so\, (statement) \?)
+ ((statement) \, right\?) (I mean\, (sentence))
+ (don\'t you realise that (statement) \?)
+ (I firmly believe that (statement) \.)
+ (let me tell you something\, you (der-term) \, (statement) \.)
+ (furthermore\, you (der-term) \, (statement) \.)
+ (I couldn\'t care less about your (thing) \.)
+ (How can you be so (adjective) \?)
+ (you make me sick\.)
+ (it\'s well known that (statement) \.)
+ ((statement) \.)
+ (it takes a (group-adj) (der-term) like you to say that (statement) \.)
+ (I don\'t want to hear about your (thing) \.)
+ (you\'re always totally wrong\.)
+ (I\'ve never heard anything as ridiculous as the idea that (statement) \.)
+ (you must be a real (der-term) to think that (statement) \.)
+ (you (adjective) (group-adj) (der-term) \!)
+ (you\'re probably (group-adj) yourself\.)
+ (you sound like a real (der-term) \.)
+ (why\, (statement) \!)
+ (I have many (group-adj) friends\.)
+ (save the (thing) s\!) (no nukes\!) (ban (thing) s\!)
+ (I\'ll bet you think that (thing) s are (adjective) \.)
+ (you know\, (statement) \.)
+ (your (quality) reminds me of a (thing) \.)
+ (you have the (quality) of a (der-term) \.)
+ ((der-term) \!)
+ ((adjective) (group-adj) (der-term) \!)
+ (you\'re a typical (group-adj) person\, totally (adjective) \.)
+ (man\, (sentence))))
+
+(defvar sentence-loop (nconc sentence sentence))
+
+
+(defvar quality
+ '((ignorance) (stupidity) (worthlessness)
+ (prejudice) (lack of intelligence) (lousiness)
+ (bad grammar) (lousy spelling)
+ (lack of common decency) (ugliness) (nastiness)
+ (subtlety) (dishonesty) ((adjective) (quality))))
+
+
+(defvar quality-loop (nconc quality quality))
+
+(defvar adjective
+ '((ignorant) (crass) (pathetic) (sick)
+ (bloated) (malignant) (perverted) (sadistic)
+ (stupid) (unpleasant) (lousy) (abusive) (bad)
+ (braindamaged) (selfish) (improper) (nasty)
+ (disgusting) (foul) (intolerable) (primitive)
+ (depressing) (dumb) (phoney)
+ ((adjective) and (adjective))
+ (as (adjective) as a (thing))))
+
+(defvar adjective-loop (nconc adjective adjective))
+
+(defvar der-term
+ '(((adjective) (der-term)) (sexist) (fascist)
+ (weakling) (coward) (beast) (peasant) (racist)
+ (cretin) (fool) (jerk) (ignoramus) (idiot)
+ (wanker) (rat) (slimebag) (DAF driver)
+ (Neanderthal) (sadist) (drunk) (capitalist)
+ (wimp) (dogmatist) (wally) (maniac)
+ (whimpering scumbag) (pea brain) (arsehole)
+ (moron) (goof) (incompetant) (lunkhead) (Nazi)
+ (SysThug) ((der-term) (der-term))))
+
+(defvar der-term-loop (nconc der-term der-term))
+
+
+(defvar thing
+ '(((adjective) (thing)) (computer)
+ (Honeywell dps8) (whale) (operation)
+ (sexist joke) (ten-incher) (dog) (MicroVAX II)
+ (source license) (real-time clock)
+ (mental problem) (sexual fantasy)
+ (venereal disease) (Jewish grandmother)
+ (cardboard cut-out) (punk haircut) (surfboard)
+ (system call) (wood-burning stove)
+ (graphics editor) (right wing death squad)
+ (disease) (vegetable) (religion)
+ (cruise missile) (bug fix) (lawyer) (copyright)
+ (PAD)))
+
+(defvar thing-loop (nconc thing thing))
+
+
+(defvar group-adj
+ '((gay) (old) (lesbian) (young) (black)
+ (Polish) ((adjective)) (white)
+ (mentally retarded) (Nicaraguan) (homosexual)
+ (dead) (underpriviledged) (religious)
+ ((thing) \-loving) (feminist) (foreign)
+ (intellectual) (crazy) (working) (unborn)
+ (Chinese) (short) ((adjective)) (poor) (rich)
+ (funny-looking) (Puerto Rican) (Mexican)
+ (Italian) (communist) (fascist) (Iranian)
+ (Moonie)))
+
+(defvar group-adj-loop (nconc group-adj group-adj))
+
+(defvar statement
+ '((your (thing) is great) ((thing) s are fun)
+ ((person) is a (der-term))
+ ((group-adj) people are (adjective))
+ (every (group-adj) person is a (der-term))
+ (most (group-adj) people have (thing) s)
+ (all (group-adj) dudes should get (thing) s)
+ ((person) is (group-adj)) (trees are (adjective))
+ (if you\'ve seen one (thing) \, you\'ve seen them all)
+ (you\'re (group-adj)) (you have a (thing))
+ (my (thing) is pretty good)
+ (the Martians are coming)
+ (the (paper) is always right)
+ (just because you read it in the (paper) that doesn\'t mean it\'s true)
+ ((person) was (group-adj))
+ ((person) \'s ghost is living in your (thing))
+ (you look like a (thing))
+ (the oceans are full of dirty fish)
+ (people are dying every day)
+ (a (group-adj) man ain\'t got nothing in the world these days)
+ (women are inherently superior to men)
+ (the system staff is fascist)
+ (there is life after death)
+ (the world is full of (der-term) s)
+ (you remind me of (person)) (technology is evil)
+ ((person) killed (person))
+ (the Russians are tapping your phone)
+ (the Earth is flat)
+ (it\'s OK to run down (group-adj) people)
+ (Multics is a really (adjective) operating system)
+ (the CIA killed (person))
+ (the sexual revolution is over)
+ (Lassie was (group-adj))
+ (the (group-adj) s have really got it all together)
+ (I was (person) in a previous life)
+ (breathing causes cancer)
+ (it\'s fun to be really (adjective))
+ ((quality) is pretty fun) (you\'re a (der-term))
+ (the (group-adj) culture is fascinating)
+ (when ya gotta go ya gotta go)
+ ((person) is (adjective))
+ ((person) \'s (quality) is (adjective))
+ (it\'s a wonderful day)
+ (everything is really a (thing))
+ (there\'s a (thing) in (person) \'s brain)
+ ((person) is a cool dude)
+ ((person) is just a figment of your imagination)
+ (the more (thing) s you have, the better)
+ (life is a (thing)) (life is (quality))
+ ((person) is (adjective))
+ ((group-adj) people are all (adjective) (der-term) s)
+ ((statement) \, and (statement))
+ ((statement) \, but (statement))
+ (I wish I had a (thing))
+ (you should have a (thing))
+ (you hope that (statement))
+ ((person) is secretly (group-adj))
+ (you wish you were (group-adj))
+ (you wish you were a (thing))
+ (I wish I were a (thing))
+ (you think that (statement))
+ ((statement) \, because (statement))
+ ((group-adj) people don\'t get married to (group-adj) people because (reason))
+ ((group-adj) people are all (adjective) because (reason))
+ ((group-adj) people are (adjective) \, and (reason))
+ (you must be a (adjective) (der-term) to think that (person) said (statement))
+ ((group-adj) people are inherently superior to (group-adj) people)
+ (God is Dead)))
+
+(defvar statement-loop (nconc statement statement))
+
+
+(defvar paper
+ '((Daily Mail) (Daily Express)
+ (Centre Bulletin) (Sun) (Daily Mirror)
+ (Daily Telegraph) (Beano) (Multics Manual)))
+
+(defvar paper-loop (nconc paper paper))
+
+
+(defvar person
+ '((Reagan) (Ken Thompson) (Dennis Ritchie)
+ (JFK) (the Pope) (Gadaffi) (Napoleon)
+ (Karl Marx) (Groucho) (Michael Jackson)
+ (Caesar) (Nietzsche) (Heidegger)
+ (Henry Kissinger) (Nixon) (Castro) (Thatcher)
+ (Attilla the Hun) (Alaric the Visigoth) (Hitler)))
+
+(defvar person-loop (nconc person person))
+
+(defvar reason
+ '((they don\'t want their children to grow up to be too lazy to steal)
+ (they can\'t tell them apart from (group-adj) dudes)
+ (they\'re too (adjective))
+ ((person) wouldn\'t have done it)
+ (they can\'t spray paint that small)
+ (they don\'t have (thing) s) (they don\'t know how)
+ (they can\'t afford (thing) s)))
+
+(defvar reason-loop (nconc reason reason))
+
+(defmacro define-element (name)
+ (let ((loop-to-use (intern (concat name "-loop"))))
+ (` (defun (, (intern name)) nil
+ (let ((step-forward (% (random) 10)))
+ (if (< step-forward 0) (setq step-forward (- step-forward)))
+ (prog1
+ (nth step-forward (, loop-to-use))
+ (setq (, loop-to-use) (nthcdr (1+ step-forward) (, loop-to-use)))))))))
+
+(define-element "sentence")
+(define-element "quality")
+(define-element "adjective")
+(define-element "der-term")
+(define-element "group-adj")
+(define-element "statement")
+(define-element "thing")
+(define-element "paper")
+(define-element "person")
+(define-element "reason")
+
+(defun *flame nil
+ (flame-expand '(sentence)))
+
+(defun flame-expand (object)
+ (cond ((atom object)
+ object)
+ (t (mapcar 'flame-expand (funcall (car object))))))
+
+(defun flatten (list)
+ (cond ((atom list)
+ (list list))
+ (t (apply 'append (mapcar 'flatten list)))))
+
+(defun flame (arg)
+ "Generate ARG (default 1) sentences of half-crazed gibberish."
+ (interactive "p")
+ (let ((w (selected-window)))
+ (pop-to-buffer (get-buffer-create "*Flame*"))
+ (goto-char (point-max))
+ (insert ?\n)
+ (flame2 arg)
+ (select-window w)))
+
+(defun flame2 (arg)
+ (let ((start (point)))
+ (flame1 arg)
+ (fill-region-as-paragraph start (point) t)))
+
+(defun flame1 (arg)
+ (cond ((zerop arg) t)
+ (t (insert (concat (sentence-ify (string-ify (append-suffixes-hack (flatten (*flame)))))))
+ (flame1 (1- arg)))))
+
+(defun sentence-ify (string)
+ (concat (upcase (substring string 0 1))
+ (substring string 1 (length string))
+ " "))
+
+(defun string-ify (list)
+ (mapconcat
+ '(lambda (x)
+ (format "%s" x))
+ list
+ " "))
+
+(defun append-suffixes-hack (list)
+ (cond ((null list)
+ nil)
+ ((memq (nth 1 list)
+ '(\? \. \, s\! \! s \'s \-loving))
+ (cons (intern (format "%s%s" (nth 0 list) (nth 1 list)))
+ (append-suffixes-hack (nthcdr 2 list))))
+ (t (cons (nth 0 list)
+ (append-suffixes-hack (nthcdr 1 list))))))
+
+(defun psychoanalyze-flamer ()
+ "Mr. Angry goes to the analyst."
+ (interactive)
+ (doctor) ; start the psychotherapy
+ (message "")
+ (switch-to-buffer "*doctor*")
+ (sit-for 0)
+ (while (not (input-pending-p))
+ (flame2 (if (= (% (random) 2) 0) 2 1))
+ (sit-for 0)
+ (doctor-ret-or-read 1)))
projects / unix-history / commitdiff